Why Do Women Feel Guilty About Everything? Learn How to Finally Put Yourself First

Do you ever feel guilty for taking a break, saying no, or even just wanting something for yourself? Would it surprise you to know that you’re not alone?

Women all around the world struggle with guilt everyday - guilt in their careers, guilt about not spending enough time with their families, guilt about their relationships, or even their own self-care.

I see it when I work with my clients, I see it in my female friends and family members. It can become a toxic

But why do women feel guilty and where does this guilt come from? And more importantly, how can you break free from it and start prioritising yourself without feeling selfish?

In this blog, I'm looking into the roots of guilt, why it’s so deeply ingrained, and how you can finally step into your confidence and put yourself first.

So, Why Do Women Feel Guilty and Where Does This Guilt Come From?

Have you ever wondered why you feel obligated to put everyone else’s needs before your own? Why, no matter how much you do for others, there’s still a lingering feeling that you should be doing more?

Guilt doesn’t appear out of nowhere, it’s the result of years (or even generations) of conditioning that tells us women our worth is tied to how much we give, nurture, and sacrifice.

I know this feeling all too well because I’ve been there myself. For years, I carried guilt like an invisible weight. Guilt for working too much, guilt for not working enough, guilt for wanting time to myself, and even guilt for saying no when I was already stretched too thin.

No matter what I did, it never felt like I'd done enough. And the worst part? That guilt kept me stuck, holding me back from the confidence, success, and joy I deserved. It wasn’t until I actively started challenging these feelings and shifting my mindset that I realised something life-changing: putting myself first isn’t selfish, it’s necessary and I want to help you get there too.

This ingrained guilt comes from several key sources:

• Cultural Expectations – Many societies uphold the belief that a “good woman” is one who puts her family, workplace, or community before herself. Taking time for personal needs is often seen as indulgent rather than necessary.

• Family Conditioning – If you grew up watching the women in your life prioritise others at the expense of their own happiness, you may have internalised the message that self-sacrifice is the only acceptable way to be.

• Workplace Pressures – In many professional environments, women feel they must overcompensate, work longer hours, and prove their worth constantly, leading to guilt when they try to establish boundaries.

• Motherhood Guilt – The unrealistic expectation to be a “perfect” mother, juggling everything seamlessly, can make self-care feel like neglect, even though it’s essential for being a present and happy parent.

This is the cycle of guilt keeps women stuck in a loop of over-giving and self-neglect. However, the good news is it’s possible to break free.

Why You Need to Start Prioritising Yourself

Let’s get one thing straight: Prioritising yourself is not selfish. It’s necessary.

As women we're often led to believe that if we don’t put everyone else first, we are failing in some way, whether as a mother, partner, employee, or friend. The reality is that constantly putting ourselves last does us more harm than good.

Here’s why it’s crucial to start prioritising yourself:

• You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re running on empty, you won’t have the energy or patience to be fully present for the people who matter most.

• Resentment builds over time. Continuously neglecting your own needs can lead to frustration, burnout, and even resentment toward those you love.

• Confidence grows when you honour your needs. When you acknowledge that your well-being is just as important as everyone else’s, you develop a stronger sense of self-worth.

• You set an example for others. If you’re a mother, sister, leader, or friend, prioritising yourself shows others, especially younger generations, that self-care is a fundamental part of a healthy life.

The bottom line? You can be a caring, compassionate, and giving person while still putting yourself first.

How to Start Putting Yourself First Without the Guilt

Breaking free from guilt doesn’t happen overnight, but with small, intentional shifts, you can learn to prioritise yourself in a way that feels good. Here’s how:

1. Challenge the Guilt Mindset

Guilt often operates on autopilot. You may feel bad about saying no, even when you logically know you can’t take on more. The key to breaking this cycle is to question your guilt instead of accepting it as truth.

• Ask yourself: Is this guilt logical, or is it just a conditioned response?

• Reframe your thoughts: Instead of thinking, "I shouldn’t take time for myself," try, "Caring for myself makes me a better leader, parent, and friend."

The more you challenge guilty thoughts, the less power they hold over you.

2. Set and Communicate Boundaries

Many women struggle with setting boundaries because they fear disappointing others. But boundaries are essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

• Start small - say no to things that drain you.

• Let people know your time is valuable. You don’t need to justify why you need rest.

• If you’re struggling with boundaries, practice saying:

  • “I’d love to help, but I can’t commit to that right now.”

  • “I need time to recharge until I can give my best energy to this/you.”

3. Prioritise Your Needs on Your To-Do List

Women are great at making lists (I know I am - I have a notepad and a list for everything!), but how often do you include yourself on them?

• Schedule self-care time just like you schedule work meetings.

• Treat personal time as non-negotiable - because it is.

Whether it’s 30 minutes for a walk, an hour for reading, or a weekend getaway, you deserve time for yourself.

4. Get Comfortable With Discomfort

Guilt won’t disappear instantly. In fact, you’ll probably feel uncomfortable the first few times you prioritise yourself and that’s okay.

• Expect guilt to show up when you set boundaries because it’s part of the process.

• Remind yourself: Feeling guilty doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong. It means I’m breaking an old habit.

The more you practice, the easier it becomes.

5. Start Small and Build Up

If prioritising yourself feels overwhelming, start with one hour per week dedicated to doing something just for you.

• When you take one small action each day you're prioritising your well-being.

• Gradually increase the time as you become more comfortable.

These small steps will lead to big changes in how you feel about yourself and how you show up for the ones you love and at work.

6. Invest in Your Confidence and Personal Growth

Breaking the guilt cycle isn’t just about mindset shifts, it’s about building confidence in your choices and your worth. If you need guidance on stepping into your power and letting go of self-doubt, check out The Confidence Playbook.

This resource is designed to help you:

✔ Overcome feelings of guilt and self-doubt

✔ Set powerful boundaries

✔ Strengthen your confidence and self-belief

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Take Up Space

For too long, we've been taught to shrink ourselves, to be small, quiet, and accommodating. But it’s time to rewrite the script.

Prioritising yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you stronger. More confident. More fulfilled. Most importantly, it allows you to show up as your best self for the people and work that truly matter to you.

If you’re ready to step into your confidence and let go of guilt, download The Confidence Playbook. It’s your first step toward breaking free from self-doubt and embracing the life you deserve.

Because you deserve to put yourself first - without the guilt.